The “Four Absolutes”—Absolute Honesty, Absolute Purity, Absolute Unselfishness, and Absolute Love.
HONESTY
Honesty is the eternal search for truth, and by far the most difficult of the Four Absolutes. As problem drinkers we developed an artistry in deceit and practice it daily without even giving it a thought. The search for truth is the noblest expression of the soul, and should we not find it we will forever be lost. The real virtue in honesty lies in the persistent dedicated striving for it. Honesty is not a policy; it has to be a constant state of mind. Too many turn over a new leaf and then relax. That is wrong. There is no relaxed twilight zone, it’s either full speed ahead constantly or it’s not honesty that we truly seek. We may bring ourselves to believe almost anything by rationalization but that same rationalization is what leaves us with a bottle in our hands, a spike in our arms, or chaos in our minds. It is one thing to devoutly wish that the truth might be on your side, and it is quite another to wish sincerely to be on the side of truth. Our sobriety is a gift but honesty is a grace that we must earn and then constantly fight to protect and enlarge. Let us make that a ceaseless quest that we try to maintain with all our sober strength and intelligence we have. Truly, the truth, will set you free.
PURITY
Purity is simple to understand. Purity is flawless quality. Purity is quality of both the mind and the heart, or should we say the soul of a man. As far as the mind is concerned it is a simple case of answering the question, “Is it right or is it wrong?” That should be easy for us. There is no twilight zone between right and wrong. Even in our using days we knew the difference. It is in the realm of the heart and spirit that we face difficulty. We know what is right but do we have the dedicated will to do it? Just as a real desire to stop drinking must exist to make our way of life effective for us, so we must have a determined desire to do that which we know is right, if we are to achieve any measurable degree of purity. Purity includes all that we do, since much of our help to others comes through our own example. Nowhere is this more true than in the decency and rightness of our life. Were we to contemplate the peace and contentment that a pure conscience would bring to the joy, and us and help that it would bring to others, we would be more determined about our spiritual progress? If you have turned your will and your life over to the care of God as you understand Him, purity will come to you in due course because God is Good. In Purity as in Honesty, the virtue lies in our striving. And like seeking the truth, giving our all in its pursuit will make us free.
UNSELFISHNESS
We have a long road to travel when it comes to unselfishness because ours was a real mastery of just the exact opposite during our drinking days. Our unselfishness must include not only that which we do for others, but that which we do for ourselves. It is said that this is a 100% selfish program in one respect, namely that we have to maintain our own sobriety and its quality before we can possibly help others. Yet we know that we must give of ourselves to others in order to maintain our sobriety, in a spirit of complete selflessness with no thought of reward. Now do we put these two things together? For one it points up that we shall gain in direct proportion to the real help we give others. How many of us make hospital call simply because we think we need to do it to stay sober? Those who think only of their own need and who reflect little on the question of doing the fellows at the hospital some genuine good, are missing the point. We are helped on our journey to unselfishness by our great mission of understanding, which sometimes seems as precious as the gift of sobriety itself. But the quality cannot be confined alone to that which we do for others. We must be unselfish even in our pursuit of self-preservation. Not the least of our aid to others comes from the examples of our own lives.
LOVE
The old song tells us that love is a many splendored thing. In giving it we receive it. But the joy of receiving can never match the real thrill of giving. Consider that this great mission of love, which is ours, is seldom experienced by the non-alcoholic, and you have a new reason for gratitude. Few are privileged to save lives. Fewer have the rich experience of being God’s helper in the gift of a second life. Love is a poor man’s beginning toward God. We reach our twelfth step when we give love to the new man, who is poor today, as we were poor yesterday. A man too proud to know he is poor has turned away from God with or without alcohol. We have been there too. But if he has a drinking problem, we can show him the way through love, understanding and our own experience. When we live for our own sobriety, we again become beggars in spiritual rags, blind once again with the dust of pride and self. Soon we shall be starving with the hunger of devouring ourselves, perhaps even lose sobriety. Love is giving of yourself and unless we do, our progress will be lost. Each one owes the gift of this second life of sobriety to every other human being he meets in the ceaseless presence of God, and especially to other alcoholics who still suffer. When we offer love, we offer our life; are we prepared to give it? When another offers us love, he offers his life; have we the grace to receive it? When love is offered, God is there; have we received Him? The will to love is God’s will; have we taken the Third Step? The way of love is the way of AA, and it is the Will of God as we understand Him.
